Healthy Living.. In All Aspects

Life.Is.Good

2012-02-05T09:35:00.001-05:00

Life is good.

Sometimes I just kind of sit back and think about my life… I just don’t have words to explain how I’m feeling. (Side note.. I have a feeling this may be a lengthy one today. So if you’re tracking the 30 Day Challenge, see last few paragraphs). Anywho… I am just thankful for where I am today and with what’s going on in my life. When the New Year hit, I kind of got irritated because of all the “resolutions” that people make and don’t keep (pot calling the kettle black.. I admit it). But this year it just irritated me because I thought, “Why does the ‘new year’ need to be where people start fresh? You can start fresh ANY TIME THAT YOU’D LIKE.” I just kept having this thought in my head…. as I made resolutions or goals for 2012. Just to off track a minute.. I have been running this past week and when I run, lots of things go through my head. Usually it’s, PUSH YOURSELF KATRINA! But during my last run, I thought, why is it called, “resolutions?” People make goals, not resolutions.. and then the more I thought about it, the more I “resolutions” was actually good.. because a resolution is usually a cure for a problem, right? That’s what people do at the new year… find a “problem” in their life and try to stick with a resolution for it.

Anyway… just a random thought that was in my head… back to making those resolutions… I think people make them at the new year because, well, it’s the new year. It’s almost like it’s a blank sheet of paper and you get to start completely fresh. I still think you can do that at any point in your life, but maybe it just gives people an excuse to live the way they do… or for me, as I look back, I look at the year as a whole.. and wow. What a year 2011 was. SO much was gone through. I finished my first year teaching… I started my second year teaching… I had friends move across the country… I had very close friends get married or engaged… my best friend and cousin moved and is away from me for the first time in over 10years… I moved yet again… and of course, the joke of the year was always “Katrina and her boys… which boy is it this time?” Which is HILARIOUS to me, because, well, if you know me, that has never been me. I went through dating one, not sure what you’d call the next, and then a pretty serious relationship after that, then ending the year single (which I’m okay with). For each of those, hard decisions were made, friendships were formed, heartache happened… 2011 was just a whirlwind of emotions for me, lots of changes, and “grown up” decisions.

As I looked back at 2011, I knew my perspective was going to change for 2012. I had a “clean page” to look at. I wanted to go in it not knowing what was to come, but knowing that whatever God had in store, it was going to be good. And I can’t even explain that feeling to you.. but I KNEW that it was going to be a great year (not saying 2011 was.. I learned A LOT about myself). So.. it’s only February 5, and these past 5 weeks have been SO good. Maybe it’s just because my perspective has changed. Maybe it’s because I’m looking at things in a new light. I don’t know. But I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever been this happy. Let’s take a look at different areas of my life so I can explain more.

Friends: I have the greatest friends. I feel like friendships are growing deeper. I am trying to be more intentional in those friendships and new friendships that have been made.

Crossings: I can’t say how much this community means to me.. and I don’t know that I ever could. But I feel a part of something big and life changing. Through every Sunday.. through

Small Group.. through Kid City.. through Hospitality.. through FPU…

Health: I don’t think I’ve ever “stuck” to working out.. but I have the last five weeks and I FEEL good. AND I’m doing a 5K! Who would have thought. Not me, that’s for sure.

Expenses: I am SO looking forward to budgeting and not living and worrying about expenses as much as I do.

Work: I love my kids. This new year has been awesome and encouraging.

Future: I’m going to Grad School… AGAIN. What in the world am I thinking!? I have no idea… but I am so excited for “what’s next.”

Maybe I covered it all.. maybe I didn’t… but I just love my life and where I am right now. You know when you are in a new relationship and you’re just head over heels for that person and you just can’t stop smiling? That’s how I feel. Maybe I’m falling in love with my life..

Okay.. that’s my rant and what’s on my heart. Are you still with me? If you are.. well, thanks.

To the Healthy Aspects of it all…

FPU is great. I’m loving it and can’t wait for each week to learn something new. Budgeting is going to be hard, but I’m excited.

I lost 4lbs this week, so I’m at 12lbs gone! WooHoo!

30 Day Challenge.. well… I didn’t finish it. LET ME EXPLAIN. I just got sick of doing the same exercise over again. I think I’ll incorporate some of it every once in awhile, but for now, it’s not for me. I feel like a quitter sometimes because I only had three stinking days left.. but I don’t feel like I quit because it was too hard. Does that make sense? Instead, I started running. I’ve been doing that on Mondays anyway, well, part walking.. but I’ve started running this past week. I did it three times last week and RAN MY FIRST MILE! NO BREAKS! It was quite a big thing for me. I want to try to start adding a little on at a time and hopefully be able to run the whole 5k in April, but we’ll see. My legs felt like spaghetti last week.

Well. That’s all I have for today. Ha.. all I have.. it was quite a bit. Thanks for reading though. Thanks for continuing to read and your encouragement as well. It means a lot.

Hope you all get to go to a fun Superbowl party tonight! I don’t really care about who wins… I’m excited for the party aspect of it all and for the new previews shown during the commercials!

Til next week…

"healthy" living? psh.

2012-01-28T13:58:00.006-05:00

Well.. I don't have much to post about this past week as far as the 30 Day Challenge goes.. I got sick and I was able to do one day, and that's it... putting me behind almost a stinkin week. I think I was most mad about this then anything. My friend Rachel and I walk/ran 3 miles on Monday, and I worked out Tuesday. Wednesday, whatever it was, hit me.. so I was down Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I was getting my energy back. Today I thought about doing one or two of them, but my uterus decided to try to rip itself out of me, causing me to be in bed until 2:00 today (sorry if you're male reading this.. but let's me honest, you know what goes on once a month). But that's another story. I should probably go to the doctor since this is two months in a row. Too bad my insurance sucks. The whole getting sick thing would benefit a doctor's visit as well.. I'm pretty sure that was more a GI thing than a sickness thing, but I don't know... I'm no doctor, but I know how weird my stomach is.
anyway.
Since it's Saturday, I weighed myself after telling myself not to expect anything after this week of nothingness... and I was right. 2lbs were back on... but again, well... I'll just say bloating. Nothing like getting personal, right?

Financial Peace University (FPU) officially started this week. I'm really excited about it! I can't wait to see the difference after 91 days. I feel like I'm off to a good start, mindset at least. The first step is to save $1000. That makes me nervous a bit because I don't know where that is going to come from.. but I'm gonna do it! Also, I mapped out the distance from 4MS (where we meet) to my house, and it's a little over 5 miles. I think I'm going to start including that in my workout since the challenge will be over. However, Lisa-Marie (the AWESOME and motivating host of BodyRock.Tv) said what they have planned next is awesome. I'm pretty sure I'm going to continue with whatever they have.

Well.. that's what I got today. have a great week. wish me luck on my last week of the 30 Day Challenge! Really going to try to push myself this week.
peace out friends.

ps. sorry i didnt put a picture up.

Sweat and Glory

2012-01-21T14:53:00.004-05:00

Sweat. I hate it and love it. I love it because of what it does.. just that release of fluid and chemicals escaping your body. I hate it, because that would be a side of my dad I got.. I sweat like him. Couldn't be like my mom and barely sweat. It doesn't take me much. Such an unattractive quality.. anyway. I'm covered in it now. Yet again, I had to do two workouts today because I didn't do mine yesterday. "Yesterday's" consisted of a tuck jump, tuck under, press up one leg in, next one out, side plank leg lifts right, side plank leg lifts left. Each are done as many as you can in 5o seconds with 10 second rest between. You do the whole set through twice, making it 12 minutes. If you so desire, check out the video here.

The actual today's was an 800 rep challenge:
25 Push ups
100 High knees
25 Straight Abs (feet on chair)
100 High knees
25 Squats with weights
100 High knees
25 Tricep dips (hand on the seat of a chair and squat, push yourself up)
repeat

Well.. good news is, to do the first 400 only took me 8:41. If you've been following me through, the first 400 rep challenge took me 12:39, but I had to break it up in 2 sets of 200. These 800 I did straight through in 18:49, which again, looking back last week at my 600 rep challenge, it took me 18:25. Meaning I did 200 more in 24 seconds. SCORE. I also took a lot more breaks with this challenge too. I felt pretty good about it.

This week I'm excited to say hit 10lbs GONE! I only lost 2lbs this week, but it was still exciting to hit that first 10lbs mark. I was really, really surprised at it too because my diet has SLACKED this week. I mean, for goodness sake, I had PIZZA on Thursday! WITH a dessert pizza! It was my friend's birthday but I felt guilty the entire time. This week was just hard. And I've been losing motivation too. I mean, I have enough motivation to lose it, but I guess I'm just lacking the energy to do so. I've felt a lot weaker too. bleh. One week to go of the 30 day challenge though.. it's crazy for me to think I've stuck through it for thirty-freaking-days. The results are nice though.

During this workout, I turned on an old workout playlist I made for my cousin and I during our college years. It just makes me laugh so much. When certain songs come on, I can just see us in the gym on campus dancing while we do our cardio in between machines. Songs like, That's Not My Name, and artists like Mims... I miss my other half! Mini me, you complete me :)

Alright... LOTS to do tonight :) And SO excited for it!!

Oh yeah.. and another blog I was doing posted pictures of every 10 she lost. It was AMAZING to see the changes. Check that out at Runs for Cookies. So I think I may post pictures of every 10. Maybe that'll also hold me accountable? I bought a sweet dress to wear tonight.. so maybe I'll post a picture later or tomorrow of my first ten.

Until then...

Two Weeks Strong!

2012-01-14T14:09:00.004-05:00

Today ended two weeks of the 30 Day Challenge. And let me tell you.. today was enough sweat for the entire week! I did both yesterday's workout AND the 600 Rep Challenge today. Yesterday I set my alarm early to workout in the morning since it was Friday.. and when it went off, I prayed for a snow day so I could do it in the afternoon. Needless to say, God wasn't in agreement with me. I was gone until almost 1 so I did it this morning. Rested about 30 minutes in between then did the 600 Rep Challenge. AHH. 600. My time was 18:25 which I thought was just okay, but looking at everyone else's scores/times, it was about average! YES! I'm sure tonight will be rough at work just standing around. Last week after the 400 reps, my muscles got really tight.
Here's what I did:
100 High Knees
100 Lunge Kicks
100 High Knees
100 Squats, with two 3lb weights
100 High Knees
25 Straight Abs
25 V Abs Left
25 V Abs Right
25 Bicycle Abs

I checked the timer as I went through and not only can I now do 100 High Knees without stopping, but I can do it in ONE MINUTE!

I can definitely feel the difference in endurance and strength with these workouts. My push ups are rockin too and I just feel better knowing I'm doing something 5 days a week! Two weeks left of the challenge to go. I'm half way!

I've also been doing GREAT eating better. I've gone out 3 times within the last two weeks. Minus Barley's last week, I've eaten healthy at both places. Last night was just okay... went to PF Changs with friends but my chicken was grilled and I had brown rice!

I've only lost 3lbs this week, but 3lbs is still good in my book! That makes it for a total of 8lbs! Woohoo!

It's short and sweet this week, but I have to be at work in an hour and I haven't showered. Thanks for reading and for all of you that have been keeping me accountable!

Oh yes.. and I AM doing the 5K! I have a group of friends doing (running) it (straight through), but a friend of mine decided to do it with me too. I'm going to get my "5K shoes" at the outlets tomorrow!

New Look at a New Year

2012-01-07T14:59:00.004-05:00

Well... I haven't blogged in almost a year and yes, it's been brought to my attention. I've been more ... "inspired" I guess you could say, to blog. Maybe because that's another way to hold myself accountable; who knows, but I'm gonna do it!

It's a new year which means new resolutions. I'm not one (like 99% of the world) to hold onto my resolutions, so I don't usually ever make them. This year is gonna be different. I feel like 2012 is gonna be a great year. I've changed the title to my blog to "Healthy Living.. In All Aspects." When you think of "healthy living," what do you think of? I bet it's eating right, exercising, and skinny people. And if I'm honest, it's usually, "skinny bitches." (Pardon the language, but am I right?)

Now, I am meaning healthy living in ALL aspects. Yes, eating better and exercising are included, but also how I spend my time, money, and live my life. This past week I have started a 30 Day Challenge from BodyRockTv. Monday-Friday includes quite a workout. I'm not sure if it will change at all, but it's been 12 reps of a group of exercises for a 50/10 interval. Do as many reps as you can in 50 seconds and rest for 10. Let me tell you.. I am out of shape! Haha. It's been challenging but I've stuck through it.. Calloused hands (from burpees and push ups) and tired knees/abs and all! Today was a 400 rep challenge. Two different exercises of a 75/25 rep, four times. You just write record your time. I had to stop after 200.. I got really shaky so I thought it may be smart to stop, drink some water, eat a banana, and continue in a bit. I did the first half in 7:25 and the second in 5:14! Now I get to rest two days and continue on Tuesday. Oh, and I lost 5lbs in the last month.. I've only been working out a week, so I expect this to be more a month later..

I've been trying to eat better as well. I haven't had any soda at all since Monday, haven't ate out (well.. I had a beer and fries ONCE, but that was a birthday celebration!), and I've been cooking healthier as well. I had Chicken Tortilla Soup for my lunches/dinner last week. And today I made a Banana Oatmeal Smoothie for my breakfast for today and tomorrow and I pre made DIY Smoothie Packs for my breakfast next week. I'm also going to make this other chicken thing for lunches this week.

Now that's the exercising and eating healthy aspect of it all. I've also decided to do Financial Peace University for the healthy living financial/smart living of it all. I am ready to pay off my debt and live freely (but smart!). My church (Crossings) is holding it, like they do every year, twice a year, and the "preview" session is Tuesday. I've done the whole budget sheets before, but I've never actually started it. I figured if I pay $50 to do this, you better believe I'm not going to let that $50 go to waste!

I also just want to make sure I'm spending my time wisely. I waste so much of it and my time and my life is precious and I don't want to take it for granted.

Oh yeah.. and I think I'm going to set a goal to do the Knoxville 5K with my friends on April 1st! I know I won't be able to run the whole thing, but as long as this work out is building up that endurance, I think I have a good shot!

So yeah.. that's my healthy living look on 2012. My goal is to post every Saturday.. maybe different ideas, how the week went, my loss for the week.. Keep me accountable!

40 bags in 40 days

2011-03-17T14:50:00.005-04:00

So I use to participate in lent, even though I wasn't Catholic. I don't feel like you have to be Catholic to do so.. it's a form of discipline and obedience... Anyone can do it. However, I never did it for the right reasons. I think it was just for the sake of giving something up to see if I can do it. It's been a few years since I have done it though.. Well, I realized I haven't been on my blog or kept up to date with anyone's or browsed or what have you, but I did so today. I love going to my friend Ashley's blog because she always finds the best blogs. After I caught up with her, I browsed through them and stumbled upon this which after following through all the blogs, led to where it started. Here's the gist:

1. There are 40 days in the "season" of Lent from Ash Wednesday to Easter (I know, I'm a week behind). So you make a list of 40 areas in your life/home that you want to go through/simplify/purge.

2. Each item on the list counts for a day. You go through that item on that day and figure out what you want to get rid of or donate.

3. The point: you're making more room in your house and getting rid of all the junk and frustrations that come from it. This includes all sorts of areas.. closets, rooms, drawers, wallet, purse, car, desk..etc.

Reading this lady's blog, just made me think: What's the point of "giving up something" like a food or whatever for lent? I need to be doing something.. so like she also said in her post, I'm going to "clear the house and make room for God." I need to be remembering what the whole purpose of Lent is and that sacrifice that was made.

In this "remembrance" is also a celebration.. And I want to be celebrating my life, the good and the bad. So I am also going to make a list each day of the things I'm thankful for and why. I'm not going to commit to blogging about it because.. well... look at the 30 Day photo thing and see how that turned out! (I'll finish it eventually..) My mood and attitude wasn't in the right place at the time and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

So yeah.. there ya have it. I just need to get on the ball with this now because I'm already a week late!

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." -william morris.

(taken from another blog)

hiatus.

2011-02-28T21:43:00.002-05:00

the photo a day game thing is on hiatus. If TV shows can do it, why can't I?

Posting every day just gets old.

10.

2011-02-25T14:35:00.006-05:00

Any Photo You Like for Any Reason

Look at it! ..what's not to like? It's just a fun picture and probably my favorite of me and Anna!

Day Nine

2011-02-24T19:36:00.005-05:00

A Photo of Yourself when You were a Baby

Don't have many of these on hand, but I have this one! :]

Don't really have much to say today though.. The picture is all I got for Thursday.

One Week Straight!

2011-02-23T18:34:00.005-05:00

First off, can we just take the time right now to see that I have blogged for ONE WEEK STRAIGHT! heck yeah.

Okay.. Day Eight: A Photo of Something You Enjoy Doing

This was easy.. I went to THREE in the past FIVE days!

SHOWS. CONCERTS. Whatever you want to call them.. Here are a few recent ones and a few of my all time favorites.

Last night was The Civil Wars. AMAZING show. We went an HOUR early and they were already sold out. We were second in line and had high hopes of getting in. It was getting close to us waiting for an hour and a half when some entertainment came around (long story) and I was about ready to call it quits. The people in front of us were let in so it was looking pretty good.. we were the first ones and I wasn't ready to leave after that. Some jerk of a cop pulled up and said we all (the entire line of people waiting) had to either leave or step against the wall because we were blocking the sidewalk. Some guy started mouthing off and the cop got out and said because of him, everyone had to go. Well, since Eric and I were at the front of the line and the mouthy guy was a few behind, the cop was behind us. Eric wasn't budging, except to go closer into the doorway to hide. The guy at the door kind of rolled his eyes at the cop and said, Come on.. ten bucks.. and HE LET US IN! They were way over capacity and it was crowded but we got in and enjoyed every single minute of it. All I had to say to Eric was, "you're welcome" (for introducing him to such great music).

Last Friday was Erick Baker and Andrew Ripp. I hadn't seen Erick Baker before, but I am definitely a fan now. Bought his cds the next day.

Now for my TOP Favorite Concerts. Here are at least the top six, in no particular order.

Ten Out of Tenn Tour. Dec 2008.
Obviously, we didn't perform. I don't have any other pictures of this concert except this one (which is my favorite of us!). We had heard Andy Davis was playing on this "Ten out of Tenn" tour. Hadn't heard of it, but it was ten artists from Tennessee touring together. Oh.My.Goodness. It was a Christmas tour, but it by far deserved to be at least on the TOP FIVE best concerts. I think this is when my love for independent artists started.

David Cook (with NeedtoBreathe) July 2009.
I go to a LOT of concerts and I have never been "star struck" before. When David Cook walked out on stage, I about had a freak-out. Oooh goodness. Look at him? Need I say more? And that voice! Whew!

Dave Barnes. Sundown in the City. July 2009
I have been to my fair share of Dave concerts (believe me.. the number is ridiculous). But this was BY FAR my favorite show. During the set it started raining.. and not just sprinkling raining.. but POURING BUCKETS OF WATER raining. So there we stood, singing my favorite song Until You, and dancing in the rain with Dave. AND that night his status said that it was definitely in his TOP FIVE concert moments. I'd say so. SIMPLY AWESOME.

Ten Out of Tenn: Tour 2. September 2009.
Ten out of Tenn had another tour (nonChristmas) with a round of new artists plus a few originals. It was GREAT.

Kelly Freaking Clarkson. October 2009
Best birthday present EVER. Rilee and I celebrated our birthdays seeing Kelly Clarkson. I may have been a little star-struck here too. She came out and I was just an awe of her AMAZING and BIG voice. I've been a fan since her audition on American Idol ten years ago. I'm pretty sure that won't change.

The Civil Wars. January 2010
This wasn't the first time I saw Joy Williams, but this was the first time I saw her with John Pail White as The Civil Wars. They have SUCH great chemistry up there together when they sing! Their voices blend SO incredibly well... I could listen to them for days. In fact, recently, I have. They had their first TV debut recently on Leno.. I don't think they realized how big their fan base would grow after that. I went to a SOLD OUT concert of them last night! I mean.. come on! I love them, they're a favorite, but that would not have happened before that. I hope their future "stardom" doesn't effect who they are. They are good people with an amazing thing they have going.

yeah... going to concerts is definitely something I enjoy doing. Could you tell?

A photo of Something you Stand for (Day seven)

2011-02-22T18:58:00.004-05:00

Not that I needed any reminders of how against abortion I am, but I was recently reminded how.. I don't really know how to word it.. I guess ANGRY I get when the subject of abortion comes up. People are always so worried about the rights they have and the rights of others, yet when it comes to a child in the womb, they have no rights except on what the mother wants to do. If you aren't responsible enough to take control of the consequences you got yourself into, then don't make those decisions or put yourself in situations where you're going to have to choose. If you choose YOUR life over YOUR unborn child's life, then no, you're definitely not ready to become a parent, but there are THOUSANDS of people out there that are ready and yet aren't able to and are WAITING for a that child to come into their lives. I am reminded of that frequently with families I know who have adopted or families I know that are waiting for their precious children, whether it be that they're already born and on the other side of the world or in the states waiting for their child to be born because something awful happened to a young girl but she chooses her child's life and a better life than what she can provide. Oooh I just get so mad thinking about it all and so sick to my stomach knowing that this happens every second and that it is somehow okay for it to continue.

That's really all I have to say. You can share your opinions with me if you please, however, my thoughts won't change. This is one thing that I KNOW I will always stand for.

Someone(s) you Love: Day six

2011-02-21T22:07:00.004-05:00

Well.. I was thinking about which direction I wanted to go with this photo because there are many someones whom I love dearly. So let's discuss the runners up:

This girl holds quite the special place in my heart. My cousin, Skyler Anne, is most definitely a someone I love and adore for many different reasons. Even though I wasn't there and didn't meet her until she was a few weeks old, that day she was born I have felt attached. I'm her "nina!"

The Ryan boys.. another two that mean so much to me. Parker stole my heart that day he was born.. I cannot believe he'll be 8 next month. That's just not right. And then there's Ben who came along a few years after and you just can't not love him. He's something else. I wish these boys (and parents and Olivia!) weren't so far away.

However, here's the someone(s) I chose for this "special place" on the blog/photo game...
Drum roll please...

.

.

.

.

.

My students.

These kids.. each and every single one of them.. I love so dearly. They're my FIRST class! No one will ever be able to take that place. I love each of their personalities.. whether their personalities consist of creativeness, wild, crazy, helpful, imaginative, humorous, confused, shy, compassion, thoughtfulness, innocence, stubbornness, dramatic... They will always be my first class and I will always remember them and their crazy, sweet, selves.

Day Five: A Photo that Makes you Laugh

2011-02-20T21:11:00.005-05:00

Hahaha, this picture just makes me laugh every time I see it. This was a picture I stole from Dave Barnes that he put together. On the picture to the right, that's my head poking out behind him, looking like a creeper. Now here's the story behind it: Chad and I drove to Nashville to go to a SOLD OUT show that Dave Barnes was doing. Why? Because Dave Barnes is my favorite, Chad is my best friend, and that's just what friends do :) Attempt. (BTW, because of this, I was told that that'd be the "test" for future guys I date.. if they'd drive to Nashville for a concert with me because that's just what they do :] (Chad, I think that's the perfect test. good thinking).) So we drive three hours to Nashville to go to the Writers Round at the Bluebird Cafe where Dave, Steve Moakler, Drew and Ellie Holcomb, and Tim Schurrer were playing. I had called ahead of time and they said even if it's sold out, they'd still let some people in. So we waited in line forever, with no tickets, and finally made it to the front and we were the LAST people they let in! I think they may have ended up making room and letting maybe two more people eventually in.. Anyway. The only seats left were directly behind him. Granted, it was an awesome show, but it still kind of sucked sitting behind him. However, it was also great because I think I may have had to teach the next day and I know we had to quickly leave after the show because Chad was going to have to work at 4am and we needed to get back in time for him to go (I'm telling ya, true friendship right there!), so we were able to stand up and talk to him first before we left.
ahh. Great music. Great friend. Great road trip.

Day 4

2011-02-19T10:30:00.007-05:00

Day four: a photo of a place you'd like to visit.

Ireland.. ahhh. This just may be my dream visit. Ever since I saw P.S I Love You I have longed to go. It just looks absolutely gorgeous! One day.. I WILL go! Ohh and meet an Irish man to take back with me. Or just stay there. If it could be Gerard Butler like in that movie, that'd be fine with me too.

If I had to go somewhere in the states.. man.. that list could go on. I thought about posting pictures, but there's too many. NYC... Grand Canyon.. Niagara Falls... San Diego... LA... seeing the Redwoods.. Really, I just want to go to the west coast.

Day 3

2011-02-18T23:35:00.005-05:00

Day 3: A Photo that Makes You Happy

This picture is from Best 8 Days from May 2009. It brings an overwhelming sense of peace to me.. I have it in a frame on my wall as well. Maybe it's because of what that week meant to me. Maybe it was the accomplishment of finally reaching the top of the freakin' sand dunes. Maybe it is just the sense of calming that looking out at God's creation gives me. The feeling when you take a deep breathe and just exhale... the, "ahhhh."

That's all I have for this evening. I just got home from an AMAZING concert put on by Knoxville's own Erick Baker with the talented Andrew Ripp opening. I'm pooped and tomorrow holds a day of work and another great show at Patrick Sullivan's of The HotShot Freight Train! Gotta go out and support them.

Have a good night all.

Day 2 / Decisions / Choices / Opportunities

2011-02-17T18:06:00.010-05:00

Let's just start with Day 2's photo: A picture of yourself from at least a year ago.

I cannot believe that at this time last year, I was getting ready to go live in Puerto Rico for 8 weeks. It doesn't seem like that long ago. I loved just about every minute of it and would love to go vacation there and see people. I couldn't pick just one picture to post though.. actually, I had a hard time only choosing two! I also have a Groupon coupon for a photo book that will expire soon that I plan on using PR photos for. I need to get on that. There's just entirely too many to choose from.

On to another subject. Decisions. Choices.

Bottom line: MAKING THEM SUCKS.

Yes, it's a part of life.. but sometimes it sucks to have to make them. However, there's always some validity for the ones you make whether it be right and wrong, a belief, something that if you continue will change who you are (for good or for bad), etc. For instance, I had to make one tonight that I was getting so anxious about (I mean, sick to my stomach, red face and hives anxious) but I had the reason behind the decision and it ended up turning out from what I believe to be a pretty good resolution and the future for it will be for the best and could be exciting.

Another choice I made today was to do something about what I may want to do with my life. In the last post I said I had some ideas, but that was it. After the post I was out with some friends and I was telling them about it and one said, "So, what are you going to do about this new passion? It sounds like it could become a passion of yours. What are you going to do about it? If you don't do something, you'll never know and you'll always be wondering." Well, today I did something about it. I've been looking into the area of becoming a Child Life Specialist. I looked at it before but the process is kind of rough. $400 exam. 480 Clinical hours. My first thought was, When in the world will I have time to do this? And I kind of just blew it off. I also wasn't going to take a $400 exam without knowing that's what I want to do with my life. But then when I was asked that last night, i thought I'd look into it again. I saw that they had a Summer Internship you could do and I looked at the application and I missed the deadline. It was January 5. So I called my mom, disappointed, to tell her about it and we started talking about the opportunities at other hospitals.. even if that meant I moved home for the Summer and just moved back to Knoxville in the fall [talk about saving money!]. I made some phone calls, emailed a few people, looked at other hospitals and these were my answers:

more deadlines of January 5
All filled up
Only for students
No Summer Internships (only Fall/Spring)

BUMMER. I'm glad I looked into it and found some answers.. but I'm really disappointed that I can't do that this summer. I emailed someone else as well asking if there's something in that field that doesn't involve the CLS certification.. however, I haven't heard back from them. May make some phone calls tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong.. I love my ECLC kids, I just know it's not something I am going to be doing the rest of my life and I feel like this could be that something for whenever that may begin.

Here's to future choices/decisions, future opportunities, and maybe a Summer 2012 Internship.

30 days

2011-02-16T18:31:00.005-05:00

So I saw this done on Facebook by a lot of my friends and I thought, Well, maybe if I do it on my blog, that will help me keep it up to date more.. because we all know I'm not the best at that.. so why not! This is the 30 Day Photo Game. Every day will be a different photo, hopefully followed by a short blog to follow after.

Day 1: Photo of Yourself

Taken approximately 5 minutes ago, just for you. Not the best, but the most current :]

I figured with each photo, I'd explain reasons, stories, etc.. Um.. but for this one, it's me.. so there really isn't a better reason! So I'll just share some things about me that you may or may not know.

Let's see..

I started Weightwatchers about a month ago. I've lost 7lbs! I'm kind of at that rut though and need to find motivation again. I'm kind of over it, but it's obviously working, so I need to continue. I can tell a difference with some things I wear.. I just need to keep my chin up about it.
I'm kind of over this whole "adult" thing.. and yet, I have the rest of my life to look forward to it.
I have a problem with worry, but I've been working on it.
I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I "grow up."
Sometimes I dream about moving across the country and starting something new with my life.
I have an addiction with buying: movies, music, shoes, bags, and books.
With buying books, I have a problem with reading a few chapters and putting it on the shelf.
I don't get embarrassed easily, although I use to because I was pretty shy (hard to believe, I know).
I absolutely love my small group girls and some days don't know what I'd do without their friendships, support, prayers, and love.
I love this new relationship that's formed with my sister :]
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I hate being vulnerable but can't help it sometimes.
I love looking through these creative/inspiring blogs people have and get a little jealous with their craftiness.
I have these ideas for what I want to do with my life, but change kind of scares me.

and that's me, currently.

i hate this world.

2011-01-25T22:38:00.003-05:00

I hate this world we live in consumed up of all of our time and stress and worries that don't even matter in the long run.

After talking to my mom yesterday, I just felt like my relationship with God has just been staggering. It's like it was put on hold so I can deal with everything else going on in my life (there's been a lot these past four months! Sorry I suck at blogging). Obviously, that needs to change. I don't like it one bit. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know who I really am.. like what defines ME. What happened?

My mom told me she was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan for a Bible Study at church. I decided I would pick it up again and start reading (for those that don't know me, I read a chapter or two of a book and never pick it up again.. usually). I heard how powerful and "slap you in the face" type of book it was, so I thought, "Well.. I need to do something.. so I'm going to start and end my day reading this and talking to God and go from there." What else can I do?

Last night at small group, my prayer request was for all this stress and worry I have in my life over EVERYTHING. The thought of literally everything that is going on in my life is stressing me out.. my job, house, relationships, money, loans.. etc. Well... whaddya know that the first thing I read about this morning and start my day off with is none other but 'stress' and 'worry.' Let me share..

"Do not be anxious in anything." Phil 4:4
"When I am consumed by my problems- stressed out about my life, my family, my job- I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. ....Why are we so quick to forget God?"

Hm.. What is God trying to tell me here? I wonder..
Maybe my life is the way that it is because I forget to lay my worries down where they should be and give them up to Him. Just maybe..

That was my reading this morning. Tonight I read a portion entitled, "Thank God We Are Weak." HA. Here's what that said..

"..acknowledge our lack of control and reach out for God's help. If life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God."

After I read that, all I could think of is, "Am I??" Really.. am I really thankful for the unknowns that I don't have control over?? hahaha. NO. I am not. Again, I was talking to my mom about that tonight.. about control and having control.. and giving up control.. and look what I read tonight.

The rest of the chapter went on about being ready for God and living a life that shows that. Yes, we all know how short and how precious life is.. but what are we doing about that? Anything? He wrote, "We have to believe it enough that it changes how we live."

I think I need to start believing that more and make some changes. That scares me like no other.. but I know where to go with my worries.

I'm going to try to keep up with this more. Maybe use it as a way to share what I'm reading... I don't know. (But Rilee, I will TRY to stay on top of it more!)

We got catching up to do.

2010-09-09T12:50:00.002-04:00

Oh I am so behind.. I don't know where to start. Let's see.. I guess I have the whole summer that I missed..
Well, I am..

DONE with grad school.. finished, finished, FINISHED! whoo!

Moved off out of my house and in with my cousin for a few weeks.
My sister AND my mom got married!
Got a job teaching Preschool, like I wanted :)
Moved into my own house (renting). I love it.
The day after I moved in, I ended up in the ER and admitted for 4 days.. had a procedure/surgery thing to remove a stone that either a. has been there since my gallbladder was out 2 years ago or b. formed since, even though I'm gallbladder less, because, well, 1% of people without one still form them.
Got out of the hospital and started my new job the very next day.. eased into the craziness of trying to be prepared for my kids to start.
Kids started, a month into it, and things are going great.

Life really is pretty good right now. OH I forgot to mention.. during that time.. My poor Corsica was laid to rest. On my Friday night off, it started leaking Antifreeze like it was its job. The next day my wonderful friend went to look at it and it started pouring.. so since we thought it was the heater core and a few hundred to fix anyway, we went car shopping. After a week and a half of stress, I finally got a 2008 Honda Civic... which I LOVE.

So.. new job.. new house.. new car... things are pretty great right now. I'm enjoying everything in my life.

God is good.

the next phase of my life.

2010-05-22T14:16:00.002-04:00

It’s been about three weeks since I’ve been back. It seems a whole lot longer than that. So much has happened. To start off with, the first weekend I was home I had a terrible ear infection. The inside of my ear was swollen shut, causing the area around my ear on the outside to swell, causing my jar to hurt, making me not eat… It was a terrible week that it lasted. I called off work one day, went home early another, had a sick day at school… I couldn’t hear anything out of it, causing me not to talk much since I couldn’t hear myself. It was one crazy week.

The next week I had an interview at Concord’s preschool. It was a pretty big church and I really liked the people there. Apparently I impressed them because they kept saying, “good answer” … “Wow..” I’m a better interviewee than I thought! That was on a Thursday and they called the following Monday to offer me the job. They kept saying, “What can we do to persuade you to come here?” That was encouraging. They wanted me to start my own class of 3 and 4 year olds and I would have a total of 6 kids. GLORIOUS. That would have been wonderful. They also wanted me there in the morning to greet the parents when the kids first arrive because they thought I’d be great with that. However, pay wasn’t much. I could probably make it work and I would have taken it (maybe).. but I didn’t. It also just didn’t feel right when I was there. And it felt more like a daycare. I DO NOT want that. I didn’t get my Master’s to be an over-priced babysitter.

So you’re probably asking yourself, “She didn’t take the job? Is she crazy? Does she know how teaching jobs are few right now? Knox County is talking about cutting 30 teachers!” Well, that Wednesday (last week) I had another interview at the ECLC (the preschool on campus that I worked at during my undergrad). That interview went great (it was different than your average interview because these two knew my answers already). That just seemed right though. So… things needed to be figured out to give me answers about other things.. And about a week ago I accepted the job! I have my very own, grown up, “big girl” job. I couldn’t be more excited. I sign papers on Monday (I think? I have a meeting at least).

Since then, I’ve been looking at places to live. On campus housing isn’t available for ridiculous reasons.. that would have been nice to fall back on. About ten minutes from campus, I looked at an apartment set up on the second floor of someone’s house. The outside is shady, but the inside is really nice. And my friend is looking to rent out his basement, so I’m also looking into that. I need to lay everything out and see what would be the best choice.. haven’t done that yet. Also, a friend of mine is needing a place and a roommate… yesterday we just looked at a house my friend and mentor teaching is renting. We both loved it (I think she did too?). It’s in a central location. It would take me about 30 minutes to get to work, but that’d be okay. If she gets the job she’s interviewing for, it’d take her about 30 minutes as well. We’re now waiting to find out if they girl that looked at the house before us wants it or not. We will see!

My Internship is also about over. The last day with my students was Friday and there are two inservice days that I go to Monday. Wednesday we defend our thesis, Thursday/Friday we correct it, the following two weeks is class, then NO MORE SCHOOL!! EVER! At least, that's the current plan.

So that’s my life, thus far. I’m going to be living in Knoxville!!!!! I HAVE A JOB!!! Grad School is almost over. I can’t wait. The next phase in my life will be starting. I’m scared. I’m nervous. I’m excited.

Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Estoy en la Estados Unidos

2010-04-30T01:02:00.001-04:00

I meant to post this last night when I got home.. but there was too much excitement going on and I didn't get a chance.. but here you go:

I am currently (well, when I post this I won’t be, but as I type…) 28,000 feet flying over North Carolina on this short 30ish minute flight back to Knoxville. Somehow I managed to have an empty seat next to me, so I moved myself over to the window. It’s pretty cool to fly over all the lights. On another note, one thing now added to my list of things to see before I die is the sunset (or rise, I suppose) while in an airplane. I think that’d be pretty sweet to see.

My first flight was pretty good. I sat next to an older Puerto Rican lady who didn’t speak any English. In front of me was a marine and the flight attendant walked past and then turned around and came back to him and thanked him for his service. Not enough people do that and I think really take for granted what they actually do for us. I’m glad and am so very proud to come from a family that has had and has so many people in the military. Anyway, the flight was good. I played a game on my iPod that Craig told me to download and ended up getting up to level 52 before I thought I should probably turn it off! I did some reading in my Breaking Free book that my small group (which I am SO excited to get back to!) started studying right before I left. I love how God works and makes his presence known. I was listening to my iPod while reading and the song Better Than Life by Hillsong was on. As I’m listening to it and agreeing to every word and just loving the song, I’m reading a page in my book and it is talking about how David was so accustomed to God’s love that he considered it “better than life.” I just had to stop and smile to myself. We serve in awesome God.

As we were decreasing in altitude, everything, obvious, becomes more clear. This precious little girl behind me says, “It looks just like my Barbie playland!!!” Oh my goodness. I love little kids.
That’s another reason I’m excited to be home. I have had three phone calls (well, including the ECLC) about jobs and interviews and I get to go home and now set some things up and hopefully get a start to where my life may go and where God may lead me. I cannot wait.

I’m also so very excited to land. Erin had to work and Chad was going to pick me up, however, it was the last service of the church he’s attending of, of the summer, and he didn’t want to miss it and I didn’t want to be the cause of him missing it. So, Cora, Anna, and Rilee are picking me up WITH Chickfila in hand. I just LOVE them. I can’t wait to see my friends. God blesses me more than I deserve.

Tomorrow will be a day of working on my portfolio, along with a trip to Panchos (YES!), and a freaking Dave Barnes concert with two of my best friends (Cora and Erin). You know I love Dave! Friday will be another day of working and hopefully finishing up my portfolio and then working! Yes, I’m a freak. I’m excited to work. I also am going to stop by Mooreland Thursday or Friday and talk to Heidi (my mentor teacher)and see “the other” mentor teacher (haha! Just in case you’re reading this!) and see my kids too. Then I’ll be back to school on Monday to finish out the year strong!

Once I post this, it will obviously mean that I made it safe and sound. So if you are reading this, then know that I am. I’ll post a link to some pictures and tell you about my last few days in Puerto Rico sometime within the next few days.

I can’t say again my appreciation to all of you. I know NO ONE leaves comments, but I know there are a lot reading this and that have kept up with it since I left. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your support during this trip and for your continuous prayers. Literally, without each and every one of you, I wouldn’t have been able to go. Thank you for being a part of this with me.

Feel free to keep up with the blogs. They may not be as often, but I’ll update you with my life as the time comes and things get more exciting :]. Like for the fact of defending my thesis, finishing grad school, interviewing, getting a job, finding an apartment… you get my drift.

I love you all.

Sharks, parties, and teaching.

2010-04-22T17:17:00.003-04:00

So I'm grading papers today and this is the story that I hear:

Natalie- I've been on a boat with a hotel on it. Actually, that's when I saw a great white shark.
Miguel- A SHARK!?
Natalie- Yeah. I actually got bit by a shark. It grabbed me right here (holds waist) and right here on my neck.
Miguel- I can't see it on your neck.
Natalie- I know, it's not really there anymore.
Miguel- What did you do?
Natalie- Well, my dad jumped in to save me. So did my grandpa. But my grandpa got ate by the shark.
Miguel- WHAT!
Natalie- Yeah But the shark didn't eat his eyeballs. So I had to jump back into the water and kill the shark. I took his eyeballs. I still have them.
Miguel- WOW!
...A few kids walk by..
Miguel- Natalie got bit by a shark!
One of the kids- Yeah. So have I.

HA. There's never a dull moment.. Whether it's good or bad, it's never dull. It's hard believing it's my last day in this first grade classroom tomorrow. They have some sort of party of surprise planned. I thought there might be something because I walked into the classroom while they must have been discussing it and the kids freaked and just stared at me. The following day one of the boys brought money and I said, Bryan, is that for me!? And he said, Yeah! It's for your party! A few of the kids freaked out on him and he said, I didn't tell her the surprise! haha! Then today I was telling Maya that I wasn't able to go on the field trip next week because I had to go back to Tennessee and she said, Oh but, teacher, why!? And another girl came up and whispered something to her and Maya said Oh! Teacher, I know nothing. Nothing. And just smiled and walked away! Oh I just love them (or at least a few of them :)

They do make me laugh. That's for sure.

They also make me crazy. Yesterday I got a phone call at about 7:55 saying that my mentor teacher was sick, she wasn't coming in, and she'd call back during Spanish to give me her lesson plans (they were with her). I about freaked out. I didn't want to do this thing all day again because of the last time. Well, during Spanish she didn't call til it was almost over and had already made a lay out of how I wanted the day to go. Luckily I had a teacher's aide in there with me, who I just love. She's from here but taught in the states for 10 years and she is just so very encouraging. So we mapped out the day (edited it a little when Vivian called) and went from there. I won't tell you exactly how the day was, but I'll just tell you that I had about lost my voice by the end of the day, came home, and took a hardcore two hour nap. I forced myself to get up at 6 because I didn't want to be up all night (I was up until 1am).

Today I got another phone call. I freaked out when I saw her name on my ringing phone. She had said she was on her way... She was a few hours late, so I had the morning covered today. I'd be confident to say that even though the short amount I was able to teach here equals out to what I would have done in the states. Phew.

Speaking of the states, I head back in six days. How crazy. Tomorrow is FRIDAY! WHOO! Not sure what's on the agenda yet. Saturday I believe we're going to the Bacardi Distillery.. that will be interesting to see how everything is done. Sunday Craig has to preach on the West side of the island so we'll go to church, hit up the beach, and see Cabo Rojo.. ? Maybe? Something like that. It's a lighthouse on the beach. Looks pretty cool from the pictures. Monday I will go to school (stop in my classroom at the end of the day and officially say bye) and during the day I want to observe the Kindergarten classroom and the Preschool classroom. I'm anxious to see how things are done. In the afternoon I will probably sit in on Lindsay's class as well. Tuesday I am taking the day to clean my room, pack, and lay out and bake at the pool. Wedesday I'll make sure everything is together, once it is, I'll be at the pool until I have to come back and leave. Lindsay is picking me up from the house at noon, I'll be at the airport by about 12:30, flight leaves about 2:45 I think, I'll land in Charlotte, have an hour and a two hour delay (I think) and then head to Knoxville and land at 9:30 where Chad (and maybe Erin if she can get someone to cover her shift) will pick me up. Thursday and Friday will consist of being in the Resource Center and knocking my portfolio out of the way once and for all. How exciting to be done with that (Yes, I know I'll have to update it as I teach). OH. And Thursday evening will also be spent in accompanied by Dave Barnes at the Bijou. I'm freaking excited. Doesn't matter how many times I see him, I'm just as excited everytime.

Hopefully I'll get one more post in before I go. If not, I will let you know when I'm safe and sound at home, or as my mom puts it, where there's not an ocean separating herself from me :) Speaking of my mom.. I get to see my family two weeks from tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Erin, for graduating. I'm soo stinkin excited to see them. I haven't seen any of them since December.

Less than 10 days.

2010-04-19T18:04:00.014-04:00

Sorry for the delay in updates.

Field Trip!

Things have been great here. Trying to relax as much as I can before I head back to the states in less than 10 days. That's just so crazy for me to believe. I can't believe this is my last week with my class! I will miss them dearly and their hilarious personalities, but then again, I won't! Haha, not after the week I had with them... I am not cut out to teach in this culture. It would be a huge challenge for me, but I am SO entirely greatful for the experience, for what it's taught me, and for the relationships I've built here. I wouldn't change a thing.

Fish Faces with Maya.

This past weekend I went to El Yunque rainforest. It's the "number one place to go when you're in Puerto Rico." It rained. No wait, sorry, it down poured on us the entire time. It was cloudy when we got to the top. I was completely sore the next day. But. It. was. awesome. Again, wouldn't change a thing. Well, I would have liked it to not rain as much because it made taking pictures difficult, but it was kind of fun to hike in the rain. Can say I've never done that before!

Craig and Linds climbing to the top/look-out point of El Yunque.

This sums up our view. We saw nothing!

Yesterday morning me and Lindsay went and watched the sunrise on the beach. It was incredible. So so pretty. I was exhausted yesterday and today, but it was worth it.

There's a few more things we're going to do this next week and my last weekend.. still is just so crazy to me. Even crazier, when I get back to Knoxville, I have SIX (thats right, count them up, S-I-X) weeks left of Grad School. Praise.the.Lord. I couldn't make it any longer.

As far as jobs go, keep the prayers coming please!

Just to Be With You

2010-04-03T23:25:00.003-04:00

As I sit here and read the passage of Jesus' trial, death, and resurrection in Luke, I can't seem but to feel so many emotions.

Anger- Starting in Luke 23, Jesus is passed along to Pilate then Herod and back to Pilate. Even though he is already getting mocked by the guards, neither Pilate or Herod find anything wrong with him. Pilate says, "He seems harmless to me." And yet when they present him to the crowd, the crowd is the one that wants him crucified. After everything he's done for them, for their families... it makes me so mad. And then it makes me even more mad because Pilate GIVES IN. What kind of ruler are you that you give in and not stand your ground!?

Wonder- I also can't help to wonder about this all. It makes me mad, and yet, this is what God had planned all along. Jesus knew it and yet he prayed in the Garden and asked if there was anything else that could be done. So I know it had to happen. Because of this, it makes me wonder about Pilate and Herod's life. THEY chose to crucify him, even though it's what was intended in God's plan, so where does that lie in their life? They ultimately killed the Messiah. THE MESSIAH. Alpha and Omega. King of Kings. Adonai. Does that play a part in their life? I know it's not for me to decide, but it makes me wonder.

Unworthy- How can you read any passage about what Jesus went through and not feel like you're unworthy? WHO AM I to deserve what He's gone through? But that's the amazing part of grace... none of us are, and yet, He thinks so. Who am I to argue? Who am I to not live my life for him?

Relief- He rose. He rose! HE ROSE! Why do I worry about other things? HE ROSE to fulfill his promises. He died so I may live. He rose so I may live. HE'S COMING BACK SO I MAY LIVE.

Humorous- Jesus asks, "Do you have any food in here?" :] haha. "Ya'll got any food up in this joint?" makes me laugh.

Excited- for his promise. "I am sending what my Father promised to you, so stay here in the city until he arrives, until you're equipped with power from on high."

"Love Song" by Third Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ninMQnXoYnk&feature=related

Serenity

2010-04-02T21:05:00.003-04:00

My first graders. More pictures to come.

Have you ever just felt like something was on your heart, but you didn't quite know what it is? I feel that way.. There's just something there but it's like I can't find the words for it.

Anyway. Let me update you on some things that have been going on.

God decided it'd be a great and humorous idea if not only I went to a jr/sr high retreat, but that I led a family group as well. Let me tell you, I changed my major to Early Childhood for a reason. My personality just doesn't go well with the "big kids." So when I heard I'd be helping with the retreat, I thought, "Okay, what's four days?" and when I got there and was told I'd be leading a family group with another person, I got a little leary. However, things went okay. If anything, the KIDS weren't opening up which was making it difficult. Luckily, I was with someone who works in student ministry at his church back in the States. I told him leading the discussions was all him and I'd chime in.. which is how it went. Our group started to open up more the last night, but it still wasn't much. The last night's session was really good though. God was apparent and it was clear. Not just that night, but all week. Keep these students in your prayers. A lot of them are going through a lot.. not just typical high school things, but things they shouldn't have to be faced with.

The speaker for the week was a friend of Craig's from Rainbow Christian Camp in Indiana. Joe, the speaker, his wife Melissa, and their adorable son Jake stayed with us while they were here. It was a house full, but it was a lot of fun. Having a baby around made me realize how much I DO NOT want kids for awhile :] Luckily that works out since there isn't even an other half to that equation around. They are great people though and I had a lot of fun getting to know them.

After the retreat, Craig, Joe, Melissa, and I (Linds stayed home with Jake) drove about 2hrs to the center of the island to Torre Negro. On our way there we stopped at a point where you could see both sides of the coast.. as in, I look North and there's the ocean, I turn around and look South and there's the ocean. Pretty stinkin cool if you ask me. It was cloudy and dreary outside so the pictures aren't the best. And speaking of pictures, my batteries died. I stole Joe's pictures and I need to get Craig's. Anyway. We hiked up the mountains to el Torre.. which is the tower. I've never hiked for the sake of seeing a tower, but again, pretty stinkin cool. On our way back, we stopped at a beautiful waterfall. I wish we would have had time to get in it. Craig says the waterfalls at El Yunke are better.. that's the rainforest. I can't wait to see more of this beautiful island.

On the way back from the retreat, driving past the ocean on the Beach Road, I thought, I've missed seeing this everyday. Then I got to thinking how I am half way through this already. HALF WAY. wow. It doesn't feel like I've been here almost a month already. I'm going to have a rough time when it comes time to leave. God has given me such a feeling of serenity, that if that was the only reason I was here, it would be okay. Words can't even begin to tell you how much I needed that... How much I longed for that. All the time... God is good.

Please continue to be praying. And why you're at it, through in the job hunting too. I have all the applications that I've been in the process of working on, sent out. I was praying about it yesterday and I just have this strong pull towards Knoxville. I really can't see myself leaving. I can't see myself saying goodbye to the relationships that have formed there. I know a lot of people are just, "Well, where I get a job is where I get a job!" And don't really care where it is.. But there is just this tug on my heart saying Knoxville. I know that God will provide.. But I don't know if that tug is for my own selfish reasons or if it means something. I don't want an opportunity in Knoxville to come up, and me just take it because it's Knoxville.. And I'm sure when the time comes and I go through interviews and the decisions are sought prayerfully, I'll know. But I just ask that you keep that in your prayers, please.

On this Friday.. On this weekend... I pray you not only remember what it's about, but that you live it daily, everyday. Don't make what He did not worth it.

Isaiah 53
1 Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?
2-6The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost.
We've all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong,
on him, on him.

7-9He was beaten, he was tortured,
but he didn't say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared,
he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he'd never hurt a soul
or said one word that wasn't true.

10Still, it's what God had in mind all along,
to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.

11-12Out of that terrible travail of soul,
he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many "righteous ones,"
as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly—
the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch,
because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep.

For you complainers..

2010-03-27T13:25:00.002-04:00

For you complainers who like to complain but don't even leave me comments to read...

We're headin out to a Retreat for the Jr/Sr high schoolers. It's like camp pretty much. We're leavin in a few minutes and will be gone til Tuesday.. I'll update this when we come back!

Have a great weekend!

End of Week Two.

2010-03-21T21:43:00.002-04:00

I miss one week and I'm getting harassed. I have been meaning to update this though. My goal is at least once a week. Apparently, I missed that. Sorry.

Everything has been really good. I was telling some people that that's what it just is.. GOOD. No drama. No stress. No working on the weekends. It's just simply good. I'm enjoying my time with my kids. I feel like I have a story everyday from them. They are so stinkin funny. I'm enjoying my time with Lindsay and Craig, spending nights that I'm laughing so much I'm crying, spending nights staying up late and just talking with Linds, like the old days :]. It's just been so relaxing.

Last weekend we went to the beach and the largest mall in the Carribbean, along with the largest Old Navy. This weekend we didn't have school Friday or tomorrow, so we went to the beach in San Juan on Friday, the outlets yesterday, Old San Juan today, and tomorrow we're going to another beach on the opposite side of the island. I think this one is one that's part of the Carribbean Sea, so it's crystal clear water. So pretty.

Um. What else.. I tried what I think is the most popular form of puerto rican food.. monfongo. Look it up. It's like mashed plantains. It wasn't terrible, but I didn't think there was much taste to it.

I did end up talking to my teacher on her expectations of me. She said I've about finished my student teaching so she didn't think I was expected to teach at all and it was more observance and if I did teach, it wouldn't be until after I've been there a month. Lindsay said it's more because I need to get acquainted with the culture before I'm able to teach the kids.. that's understandable for sure. I talked to my internship coordinator and he said that this placement is different and my requirements are not the same. He said whatever I do will be between me and my mentor teacher and what she wants me to do. He said I will gain the teaching experience being there and helping when needed and just being involved in that way. I can see that too. What makes it hard is that I don't even feel like there's "teaching" anyway. The only thing that seems to be taught is Math. I haven't really seen a lesson in anything else. There's so much I wish I could do and change as far the teaching methods go. It's very teacher-centered and not student centered, which is what I've been taught. For those not familiar, teacher-centered is workbooks and the basic solid teaching in that matter. Student-centered is more focused on getting the students involved and doing something other than worksheets and workbooks. It's more hands on learning and instruction that will best meet their form of learning. So it's been rough in that aspect.

Other than that, things are good! I got a call about a week ago about a potential job at a preschool opening up in Knoxville. He left me a message, I called him back and got the voicemail and left him a message. Last week I hadn't heard from him and every time I got the voicemail. I left another message on Wednesday just forming him that I was interested and would like to talk to him more about the preschool and everything. We'll see where it goes. It was really, really exciting getting that first call. It also helped because someone talked me up to him and said he had nothing but great things to say. The guy happened to be one of the officers that does security at the theater. Picks on me all the time but told them I was a great worker and that I would fit right in with the people there. :] We'll see what happens. Hopefully this week I'll get a call back. Be praying. I've also got 3 more applications I really need to get on the ball with. That will be my goal this week. It's mid-March. I am definitely slacking.

Sorry it's so long. I will really try to update more frequently so each one isn't a novel.

Instead of trying to get pictures on here (it's a pain), you can go to the following links to see some. Let me know if they don't work.

Where I'm staying:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2016174&id=157200049&l=a2deeb5392

Beach Number One:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2016177&id=157200049&l=2211baab6c

Beach Number Two (visit from my sister) plus more pictures including Old San Juan:

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?aid=2016254&id=157200049

here's the mail it never fails...

2010-03-09T20:12:00.002-05:00

Okay.. I've been asked for an address.. so.. if you'd like to make my day, you can send something to:
Craig and Lindsay Beatty (Katrina)
Cond. Lago Playa
Apt. 2621
Toa Baja, PR 00949

I should receive it then and you'd make me happy :]

So today.. me and Linds went grocery shopping and I went to pay and had my first official moment where I was spoken to in Spanish and just kind of froze. Lindsay finally jumped in and helped and told me he wanted my ID. haha. And then we went to Taco Bell (yes, they have Taco Bell!) and as we were walking in Linds was like, let's see how good my Spanish is when ordering! ...DUH! I'm not even thinking when it comes to that. Luckily, this girl was like, I speak English.. and she was from PR but her English was sooo good. So yeah.. it was a pretty relaxing evening. Now we're just hanging out watching American Idol. This time last night, I was already in bed. I don't know what it is about this place, but it SUCKS the energy right out of you. I slept for 9hrs last night and couldn't manage to stay awake this morning. I also had felt like a truck hit me.. don't know why.. but my body just ached.
anyway.
Didn't get a chance to talk to my teacher today.. She kept me busy grading and running copies.. this placement really is going to be rough. I don't see me teaching much... so that's going to have to be okay with certain people back at home.
um... so I got called a name by one of my students. Have no idea what it was.. but one kid was like, he's telling jokes about you. And then another one gasped and said, he called you a really bad name! And the teacher dealt with it.. but I have no idea what he said! The little punk.
Another kid asked me if I knew that Hannah Montana lived in Tennessee where I lived :] And then she was like, when is she going to come to Puerto Rico!?? aw. poor girl. I should have been like they were in the movie and be like, I know Hannah Montana. :] hahaha.
Oh. and we have a student with ODD.. which I've never heard of. It's Oppositional Defiant Disorder. HA. yeah.. no joke. it's a disorder. Anyway. He was really sweet to me. He kept coming to me for help and then in the cafeteria we have to sit with them (I know, it sucks) and he was like teacher! teacher! here! (The students called you "teacher"). Anyway. At least he's not being crazy for me.. yet.

I felt like I was going to say something else... but I don't remember.
Anyway. Keep on reading. Keep on praying. Send me mail. I love you all. :]

I'm gonna go with Molly's title... Sorry for the book.. but its my first update in PR!

2010-03-08T16:26:00.003-05:00

I wish I could tell you I was in the beautiful city of San Juan (or right outside it), but I can't. I'm here, but with this weather, it hasn't been beautiful. I refuse to take out my camera until the sun comes out! It's been in the 70s which feels nice, but this gloomy rain thing has got to go. And when it goes, it can take my allergies with it. My nose has been nothing but stuffy and I have done nothing but sneezing!

To back it up a bit, I came in on Saturday. My flights were good. The first one from Knoxville to Charlotte was a little rough, but luckily, it was only 30-40ish minutes. It was on a teeny plane with two seats on each side. Lucky for me, I sat next to a bigger gentleman, making me lean into the aisle a little bit. Just like in the movies though, I fell asleep and then someone walked down the aisle and hit my shoulder. Nice, huh?

So I got to Charlotte, which was a nice airport, and had about an hour and a half wait til my next flight. This one was a lot better. The day before when I checked in online, I changed my seat to a window so I can take some pictures (it was cloudy so that didn't happen). I sat next to a girl my age that was on her way to relax for Spring Break. We got to talk a lot and she happened to be from CA, which some of you know I'm applying for a job there. She was telling me how pretty that area was and how I needed to just go for it. She's studying in DC in International Politics. Crazy, right? I know. Anyway. She was sweet and it was good to talk to someone... as well as good to sleep during the flight!

Craig and Lindsay were there to pick me up. It was sooo good to see them. I'm so excited I get to spend this time with them and it's so comforting and such an enouragement to have them here as well. Like I said, it's been raining, so the drive wasn't too much to see. It all just looked so crummy. We dropped my stuff off at the apartment and went to the mall to go to Chili's for dinner. Okay.. When people asked me how I was going to do this teaching thing here, I kept saying, oh! It's an English instructed school.. no big deal. But what I didn't think as well is how everything else around me would be Spanish! The menu for instance. I could read like every other word so I figured it out, with Linds' help as well. But everywhere you go it's Spanish.. street signs, menus, receipts... and then you'll run into Puerto Ricans who speak better English than you. But it was a little bit of a culture shock because I wasn't thinking of the obvious.

Sunday we went to church... it's no Crossings, that's for sure. And I wasn't expecting it to be. It's a small church, the organ plays 2 songs and then the guitar and drums play 2 songs.. and that's because they can't agree, but that's another story. Craig preached though, so that was good.
We did some shopping at Costco and came home and all three of us slept the afternoon. It was kind of nice to nap. That evening we went to one of their friends' house to celebrate Lindsay's birthday. They are all super sweet and very welcoming. They made some kind of Puerto Rican steak on the grill, which was soo good. I think it's called... chureso? Or something along those lines. But I had a good time. It was nice to get to know everybody right away.

And today... it was my first day at school. I'm going to love these kids. One of them came up to me and started talking in Spanish and I just looked at him and smiled and then he was like, Are you from another country? And I laughed and said yeah.. so he got out a map and I showed him where.. then he said, You speak in Spanish? And I told him very little and he just laughed and said, hok. I talk to Ingles. haha.

The teacher's aid that's in there will not be in there while I'm there. She's on doctor's orders not to go back to work, so my teacher said it was like a blessing in disguise that I got to come be here. It was a little rough today, but we're meeting during their Spanish class first thing in the morning tomorrow to talk. So I kind find out what she expects of me, what I expect of her, etc. Hopefully it will get better than what it was.

Anyway. I won't keep writing a book. They'll be pictures soon, I promise. Maybe next weekend when the sun's out? And I can show you mi casa as well :]

Taco Bell and the Moon

2010-01-31T23:30:00.006-05:00

So I guess I do all my thinking when I’m driving. I had two random thoughts the past two days that led to being even more in awe with God.

Thought 1:
I went to Taco Bell before work on Saturday and I got one of those 5-layer burrito things, theyre really good and theyre only 89 cents! :] anyway. I forgot to say NO SOUR CREAM. I HATE HATE HATE sour cream, if you didn’t know that already. Well, I didn’t want to get out of my car because it was cold and snowing/raining. So I got out a napkin and opened up the burrito and grabbed the chunk of sour cream out and went on my way. As I was eating it, I was hesitant with every bite thinking I was going to bite into nastiness at any minute.. I really do have a point.. stay with me… So I finally get to a point where I taste it.. and maybe it was all just in my head, I don’t know, it’s a possibility. Anyway, it was gross and needless to say, I didn’t finish it. It got me thinking though how Cora loves sour cream and how I despise it. And then it got me thinking… how amazing is the God we serve? He created us all SO different. I mean, in looks and personality and all of that.. but even with the TASTE BUDS on our TONGUES! Think about it. Think about all those tiny and irritating little things we have and how everyone likes different foods. That’s because of our taste buds! I was really just taken a step back by that thought.

Thought 2 (See pictures below):

This time, I was driving home from work.. and the moon was absolutely BEAUTIFUL tonight. I mean, it looked bigger than I could ever imagine… abnormal even to the point I lost my breath. I grabbed my phone and texted my roommates (old and new :] ) and said, LOOK AT THE MOON! I almost hit the car in front of me because I was so distracted. It was bright yellow and BIG, if I haven’t mentioned that already, and you could see the craters and everything in it. Well, that got me thinking… do you realize how much time and thought God put into creating this universe and everything in it?? I mean, to sit there and think, “I think I’m going to put this ‘moon’ in the air by the earth, and you know what? I think I’m going to make the Sun reflect it at a perfect point to light up the entire sky. And you know what else? Why not add beyond billions of speckled bursts of light in the sky as well?” Again, I my breath was just taken away THINKING about our Creator. Just thinking how He times everything so right, and yet, we QUESTION Him??? WHO ARE WE? It is only by HIS grace that we even MATTER! I fully believe He plans everything for a reason. I believe he puts people in our life to get us through the day, to give us hell and problems that we learn and grow from, to comfort and talk to and build us up when we’re low… he strategically has it all planned out. So why must we question? It’s our nature and that SUCKS. I don’t want to question my life and the problems I may have when my problems are nothing compared to what others experience or are going through. Even those problems that are bigger than mine, are nothing compared to others… and so it goes on. I am beyond blessed more than I deserve. I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about. My God will get me through everything. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses in 1 Corinthians:

13No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

God’s not going to put anything in your life that you can’t handle.
That rant was not intended to go in that direction :] The moon just made me realize how God timed creation out so amazingly.. and then that just got me thinking as I was typing.. So yeah.. those are my thoughts.

God is good. What else is there to say?

These verses also popped into my head..

Luke 19:40
(referring to the disciples) "If they keep quiet, the stones would do it for them, shouting praise."

Psalm 97:4-5

4 His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.
5 The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,
before the Lord of all the earth.

quick update.

2010-01-11T22:41:00.010-05:00

just a quick list and some pictures of what's going on:

1. bought my tickets for puerto rico! no turning back now :] march 6-april 28.

2. my moms engaged!

possible date is july 10.

3. im back in 1st grade starting wednesday.

4. i filled out my first "real: job application (for the position of the lead teacher in the ECLC :)

I haven't turned it in yet.. still need to revamp my resume.

I'm a fan of in there :]

5. i feel like there needs to be a five... um..

home was great. Christmas was great...

and I was back in Knoxville for New Years Eve, which was great..

I guess that's all for now :]

this christmas.

2009-12-20T23:35:00.003-05:00

Three things need to be addressed.

1. I suck at updating this.

2. I've reached beyond my goal for Puerto Rico. My mom's response? "Someone wants you to go." No joke. My faith just keeps growing.

3. Christmas. Usually I'm not about all the "christmas-y" things. Such as lights, music, movies (minus Elf), etc. This year it's been different. It was BEFORE Thanksgiving and the Nsync Christmas album was busted out. Right after Thanksgiving the house was decorated. And maybe that part is different this year because it's MY house. Lights are outside and in. There's a tree. Window cling-ons. Door hangings. Christmas parties galore. Not to mention, I have watched Elf like, at least 10 times. I have never been more in the Christmas spirit. My heart is just happy. My small group bought stuff for the Christmas Shop and my eyes just seem more open. I can't wait to go home and be with my family. I love that my mom's side doesn't do presents. We just go and eat and be together. That's what I'm excited for. And those precious babies, Skylar and Caleb. On my dad's side this year we did something different as far as presents. We did our grab-bag like we always do, but this year we didn't have a list to write what we wanted and it was only a $10 thing. I'm quite excited for that too. Haha, those gifts could be quite fun. I love being together with them as well. I love having all the kids running around everywhere (7 under 8 years old, if I counted right). ooh I just love it. AND this year I think we're going to Chicago to ice skate that night. New memories to be made.

Going along with Christmas, today's church service was great. I recommend going to crossingsknoxville.com to listen to the podcast. The question was addressed, "What if Christmas was a world changing event, again?" Oh my goodness. What would the world be like? What would stores do if 4.5 billion dollars (yes, that's right, billion) wasn't spent JUST around Christmas time? What if that hope that a baby brought to the world was actually celebrated? What would it be like? I was just about brought to tears during Common Meal today just thinking about that and just thinking about my life. I am so ridiculously blessed. I don't need anything. Yes, I have times of "trouble" but I have an amazing family, I have amazing friends that accept me for me when at times that could be difficult, I have a roof over my head, I have a job. I just want to celebrate that. I want to be able to rejoice that we have such a loving God that sent his Son into a world of selfishness and hate in order to give his people the shalom that was intended.

So what if Christmas was a world changing event, again?

I encourage you to check out these two things.

1. Advent Conspiracy: http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20091215/us_time/08599194759000

2. Rebel Jesus: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEC7d5jbAbo

i hope and pray you all have an amazing Christmas and that you can go beyond just thinking the phrase that so easily gets tossed around of "Jesus is the reason for the season" but that you can find hope and that restoration from the babe in the straw.

"so i bid you pleasure
and i bid you cheer
from a heathen and a pagan
on the side of the rebel Jesus"

PR bound.

2009-11-02T17:40:00.003-05:00

So I figured I'd update this real quick.

I sent out my support letters for Puerto Rico less than a month ago. I am AMAZED at how God is providing already. I shouldn't be, because, well, WHO AM I to be amazed at what our Creator can do? It's nothing that I know he can't. It's just been a continuous reminder of how blessed my life truly is. I have an amazing family. Family meaning three things here: my actual blood-related family, my family in Christ, and my family-away from home in Knoxville, including my amazing friends. I don't deserve any of it, but my life is blessed beyond my words.

As far as an update on that, I have enough to buy my plane ticket, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm hoping to get that in about a month or so!

For those of you who are thinking, what support letters? Puerto Rico? Well, you should know. :] I'm doing my 3rd placement of my internship in Puerto Rico in March/April. Just ask, I'll tell you more about it!

Oh yeah. And if you are reading this and got a letter, I'm a moron. I wrote Knoxville, IN. Clearly, I go to school in TN! :]

Thanks for all your love and support! Continue with those prayers.

I also started my Kindergarten placement today. More to come on that...

I have decided...

2009-09-22T21:45:00.001-04:00

...that I need a job where I can just love on kids. There are so many kids who are hurting and that just need to know that they are loved. That’s all I want to do. I don’t want to teach and discipline them, I just want to spend time with them and love on them and show them that there’s a Greater Love.

Where can I get an application?

it's a scary thing.

2009-08-21T08:51:00.002-04:00

So I am almost 23 years old. I am in graduate school. And I don't know what I want to do with my life. It's a scary thing.

The past year or so I've been debating about whether or not I really wanted to be a teacher. Whether or not my passion lies there. Whether or not that's what God wants me to be doing with my life. I've kept that all in until recently.

August 10 started my internship. I'm at a Title I elementary school in 1st grade. I'm with a great mentor teacher. I love the first grade team I'm working with. I've enjoyed getting to know the rest of the staff. The kids are too bad either :]. But the more I'm there, the more I don't think I should be. That passion isn't there and it terrifies me. I don't have any desire to do lesson plans the rest of my life! The students just started school this past Monday, so the first week was all staff meetings. Don't even get me started on those. I don't desire to work in the school systems. At all. Wow. And I just spent 4 years working towards that. Since May I've been in class and working on my thesis, and I'm just wishing I would have done student teaching just to get it all over with.

What scares me most is I have no idea what else I would do. But here's the thing. I still want to own/direct my own preschool one day. And I even would love to do preschool right now. I know that is definitely still teaching, but it's not in the school system. It gives you plenty of more le-way with working with things and different ideas. Yes, it still has it's regulations, but it's different. That's what I've always wanted to do. And what's great, is I can do that with my degree. But I almost feel like it's narrowing my options. But if it's what I really want to do, then is that bad?

And what really really frustrates me are these classes. For those of you who don't know, we (interns) were in staff meetings for a week, with our kids for a day and a half, then pulled out to take two-four hour long classes for a week. Okay, for one, if the first two weeks are the most important, WHY are you taking us OUT!? Yes, I know what I said about being there, but how can I try to enjoy it if I'm not? And for two, all the work. I am NOT trying to be lazy, but let me tell you what we have to do, for one class, we have a five-page paper that's due every Saturday for each chapter covered, which totals eight. Yes, that's right, that's forty pages. Okay, that's not too bad since it's every Saturday. Next class, we have a 10 page research paper, a board game, a video, 2 journal reviews (three pages each), some states project thing, and I believe there's something else as well. These two class-work assignments are spread out from now until December. And on top of this is our internship which we do daily journals, a weekly report, a weekly schedule, and lesson plans for anything we teach. Oh yeah, and I work part-time off campus. And I can't not work. It's just really frustrating.

So that's my heart on the line.

a PERFECT game.

2009-07-25T00:54:00.003-04:00

So I've been home for about a week and a half. It's the first time I've sat here and done NOTHING. I mean, I've slept, watched tv, played on the computer, and just RELAXED. Probably helps that I know I shouldn't be spending money so I haven't been going out much.

It's been relaxing though. What I don't get is why is it when you're about to leave, THEN things get busy? I decided a few days ago that I'm heading back to good ol Ktown early; next Thursday to be exact. I wasn't put on the schedule at the BBA here and I need to be working, so I'm letting Regal own me for the rest of my break. I also have another paper to write that I need to do during that time.. anyway. I'm leaving Thursday, and here's my schedule until then:
tomorrow: Ann's funeral (Dave's mom. keep the fam in your prayers please). and hanging out with Mrs Jen Thiele!
Sunday: church and family cookout
Monday: dinner with the BBA girls (holla!)
Tuesday: visiting Lisa and a movie with Monica and Brian
Wednesday: heading to Indy to stay at Cora's.
Thursday: peacin out to Knoxville and workin the midnight.

And among that time I need to hang out with Tabby, see Robbin and Dakota, go by Dad and Brenda's, go see the Clouse's one more time, and try to squeeze in another Katrina/Emilee time. holy crap. BUSY.

Things have been good though. I'm upset I can't make it to Mimi's wedding or Daniel and Cara's (incredibly sad about that one since I won't be able to see everyone!!!!), AND I don't get to see my Sox play at all. Although, it's been nice to actually WATCH a game.

Speaking of the Chi-Sox. What about that PERFECT GAME!!!?? YEAAHHH!
PUT! IT! ON! THE! BOARDDDDDDD!!!!

I suppose that's all.

Oh. and Thanks to Mr Brent Bradley, I'm addicted to Lost. (I dont know if that's mentioned at all in the last one). I went through the first season in a few days and the second in a few days as well. pathetic. I need to watch the third season. our internet sucks so I can't watch it online.

Okay. that's for real all this time.

why all the pain?

2009-07-14T17:40:00.003-04:00

Apparently I suck at updating this thing. Things have just been crazy.

Classes are finally over for the summer, technically. The GOING to class is over, however, I still have two more papers to do: Stats and my part of the Lit Review. Thanks to the wonderful economy though, I won't be working too much while I'm home on break, so apparently I will have a lot of time to work on those. It makes me nervous that I won't be working for so long. I have bills to be paid and I hate, absolutely HATE relying on my mom for help. I know it's just something I will have to rely on God to get me through and I know everything will work out, it just makes me really nervous. Especially since I was planning on putting some of the money I made these 4 weeks towards Puerto Rico. It will all work out..

Other than that, I think it's just been work and babysitting and trying to get everything together and finished. It's been a busy Summer. I can't believe it's July already, then again, it feels like it should be later. It's crazy to think I will be home for 3.5 weeks then will come back and start TEACHING! holy crap. Let's not think about that.

Hm. Have I mentioned how freaking excited I am to see Bryan Greenburg? For all of you who don't know who he is, he is Jake Jageilski on One Tree Hill; my absolute favorite character and tv show. He's a musician and he's playing at Schuba's in Chicago. He's also in the movies Prime and Bride Wars.. just to help you out at placing him. I'm stoked. And Boys II Men is tomorrow! HA. now that will just be fun to go to. I'm excited to be home and hang out with my friends in the HMD.. it's been too long. And of course the family cookouts as well. I've also decided today that since I'm not working, my days are going to be spent at the beach aka the Dunes. Once again, excited.

So I started watching Lost too. I'm hooked. Finished the first season in 4 days. That's RIDICULOUS. Me and Chad went hiking yesterday and I was in survivor mode thinking, FRESH WATER! every time I saw it. Ha. It made the hike even more fun.

anyway.

So Becky told me yesterday morning that Alex Coker's mom passed away. Alex was one of my preschoolers in the ECLC the first year I was in there (LOVED that kid). She died of a pulmonary blood clot. Her name was Stephanie, dad's is Heath and then they have Alex who's 7 and a baby girl named Ziva who's about a month old. Just keep them in your prayers, please. I just cried when Becky told me, I can't even imagine what Alex is going through. Right before I went to bed I emailed Health, got ready for bed, was praying for them all and broke down. I don't think I've cried that hard in a LONG time. Gary died of a blood clot and it just brought back so many memories of that day and the weeks after and all the hurting that went on and watching my mom especially go through it all. Everyone wrote on Health's wall to stay strong, but I told him he didn't have to be. I HATED when people told me, 'be strong for your mom.' HATED IT. How was I suppose to stay strong? I was hurting too. I told him it was okay to not be strong, but he needed to be strong in the sense of not forgetting of Alex and Ziva after everything today (today was the services). Kasie was gone at school after everything happened and I was older, so I could take care of myself after everything with Gary. But I just told him not to forget about them and not to forget to take care of himself too. I just didn't know what else to say, and I know there's nothing really TO say. Just pray for them.

I don't really know why God does the things he does at times. I know He wants us more than anything and Heaven is beyond our comprehension so being with Him is better than being here, but why all the pain that has to go with it? It just sucks. Plain and simple.

Well, I opened up my Stats file to work on that and ended up on here instead. Funny how that works. But now I need to lay my stuff out for work tonight.. I get to work the midnight of Harry Potter! HA. I hope people dress up. As of Friday it was in 3 theaters.. I don't know if we've opened another one. It should be good times.. But that needs to be done, I need to make sure I have everything packed and don't forget anything, and I need to wash my hair and head to Chelsea's because she's cutting it! Excited.

Peace out friends.

let's see how this goes.

2009-06-29T21:57:00.000-04:00

So I've wanted to start a blog for awhile now. Simply just to get my thoughts out and share. It's refreshing to get things out, no matter what the form is, and it's even refreshing reading other people's blog as well. Which is another thing I'm hoping; to stay up to date with my friends. There are those friends that you don't talk to regularly because you both simply are busy, live hours away, oceans away, etc. And I think if I were to be on here too, it would help me to keep up and not have to read 3 or 4 blogs at a time like I did today with certain friends that are adopting or are overseas! :] So my goal is to blog on here at least once a week or so. maybe two. ha. we'll see how things go.

So. my life currently: Just started my last class for the summer! It's a Web 2.0 class, which is actually what got me to actually start this. It seems like it's going to be an interesting class. I can't believe I'm on my last Grad School Summer class. These past few months have gone by so slow and I didn't think my "summer break" would ever get here. Yet, in 2 days it will be July. Which is CRAZY! This is the first year I won't be home on the 4th of July! It's my favorite holiday too. Last year kind of sucked since I had surgery 3 days prior, but I was still able to be home. However, this year I will be in North Carolina at Ashlie's! I'm excited to go visit her. I miss our dorm days. I was really blessed with the roommates I had.. Ashlie 2 years, Mindy, and Cora. I really couldn't have asked for anyone better!

So exciting things for the next week or two: Linds and Craig are here!!! It was sooo good spending time with them today and tomorrow with Lindsay will be great too. I miss her! Let's see.. Carly's cutting my hair Thursday! That's exciting. Megan will be here Thursday and Friday!! NC on Saturday and Sunday. David Cook is next Wednesday! I head to Indy the following Saturday to stay at Cora's and to go see Dave Barnes for the umphteenth hundred time, which is still just as exciting every time.

So I guess that's all for now. I don't want to write a novel. I'm pretty skilled at rambling. All in all, this summer has been really great, despite grad school. God has thrown some crazy things my way which have made me make 'adult decisions' and feel grown up and such and then other random things and just showering me with blessings daily. It amazes me daily how He continues to love me despite the decisions or stupid things I do. Yet, he's still there. Also, another great thing this summer is the study of John on Wednesday nights at Crossings that was started. I haven't gone to church other than Sunday since high school and it's just been refreshing to have during the week.

So yeah. That's me thus far.

peace out friends.