I hate this world we live in consumed up of all of our time and stress and worries that don't even matter in the long run.
After talking to my mom yesterday, I just felt like my relationship with God has just been staggering. It's like it was put on hold so I can deal with everything else going on in my life (there's been a lot these past four months! Sorry I suck at blogging). Obviously, that needs to change. I don't like it one bit. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know who I really am.. like what defines ME. What happened?
My mom told me she was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan for a Bible Study at church. I decided I would pick it up again and start reading (for those that don't know me, I read a chapter or two of a book and never pick it up again.. usually). I heard how powerful and "slap you in the face" type of book it was, so I thought, "Well.. I need to do something.. so I'm going to start and end my day reading this and talking to God and go from there." What else can I do?
Last night at small group, my prayer request was for all this stress and worry I have in my life over EVERYTHING. The thought of literally everything that is going on in my life is stressing me out.. my job, house, relationships, money, loans.. etc. Well... whaddya know that the first thing I read about this morning and start my day off with is none other but 'stress' and 'worry.' Let me share..
"Do not be anxious in anything." Phil 4:4
"When I am consumed by my problems- stressed out about my life, my family, my job- I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. ....Why are we so quick to forget God?"
Hm.. What is God trying to tell me here? I wonder..
Maybe my life is the way that it is because I forget to lay my worries down where they should be and give them up to Him. Just maybe..
That was my reading this morning. Tonight I read a portion entitled, "Thank God We Are Weak." HA. Here's what that said..
"..acknowledge our lack of control and reach out for God's help. If life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God."
After I read that, all I could think of is, "Am I??" Really.. am I really thankful for the unknowns that I don't have control over?? hahaha. NO. I am not. Again, I was talking to my mom about that tonight.. about control and having control.. and giving up control.. and look what I read tonight.
The rest of the chapter went on about being ready for God and living a life that shows that. Yes, we all know how short and how precious life is.. but what are we doing about that? Anything? He wrote, "We have to believe it enough that it changes how we live."
I think I need to start believing that more and make some changes. That scares me like no other.. but I know where to go with my worries.
I'm going to try to keep up with this more. Maybe use it as a way to share what I'm reading... I don't know. (But Rilee, I will TRY to stay on top of it more!)
